Hey Dude, Where'd the Chick Go?
by kazavid
Summary: Why is Dean throwing up at the sight of blonde hair, and why does Sam find it hilarious.


**Title: **Hey Dude, Where'd the Chick Go?

**Date:** 12th October 2007  
**Author: **Kazavid**  
Chapter: **1 **  
Rating: **M**  
Pairing: **None - Dean / Sam - Winchester**  
Archiving: **None**  
Warnings: **Sexual content / Language**  
Spoilers: **None**  
Feedback: **Yes**  
Disclaimer:** Supernatural and it's character do not belong to me. **  
Summary:** Why is Dean throwing up at the sight of blonde hair, and why does Sam find it hilarious.

Chapter 1

Chick...What Chick?

Dean couldn't remember what day it was, let alone what number room he and Sam where in.

"Is this it?" the hot blonde, hanging on to his neck, asked.

"I sure hope so." Dean answered, if it wasn't, he'd just have to settle for the car. He looked around for the car, but his eyes weren't focusing.

"Hey, babe, let me do it." the blonde said, taking the key from his hand.

As she opened the door Dean started nuzzling his face against her hair. Man she smelled so sweet, and tasted just like...he stroked his tongue over her neck again, trying to think what it was she tasted like, beer, that was it, she tasted just like beer.

Dean didn't remember going in to the room, just falling backwards, on to the bed. He just laid there on his back, while the blonde began tugging at his pants, the button popped and then the zip was yanked down. He moaned as her hand reached inside and grabbed hold of his erection.

"Jesus, that feel so..." he said, jerking as her hand squeezed tightly around him.

She pulled his pants down to his thighs, and Dean groaned as her mouth immediately engulfed his shaft. She started bobbing her head up and down, and her tongue stroked and caressed along the length.

"Ah, sweetheart...yes, mm that's it..." he groaned as she increased the pressure of her hands on him, grasping, and stroking her fingers from top to bottom. Her mouth, _Christ, her mouth was so manipulative he was about to lose it, big time._

He managed to drag himself in to a sitting position, he threaded his fingers in to the long blonde hair and pulled her head up from his lap.

"Why don't you join me on the bed." he whispered, pulling her up and over to lie across his body.

He still had his hands tangled in her hair, and he pulled her head down to kiss her. It was too dark in the room to see, but he didn't need to see, hell, he wouldn't be able to focus anyway, he was too drunk.

When she started to make love to him, Dean was too tired to do anything, so he let her do what she wanted. And man was she good, and ever so inventive, some of the things she did had Dean gasping as waves of pleasure shook his body.

----------

When Dean woke up, he groaned as a sliver of light shone through the curtains, almost blinding him. He buried his head beneath the pillow, but a few minutes later he lifted his head up and dropped the pillow on to the floor. He glanced around the room, and wondered where she was. Probably in the bathroom, he got up from the bed and headed in to the bathroom, but it was empty.

He came back in to the room and heard someone at the door, he smiled, she'd gone out to get some food for him. Now that was his kind of woman, one who knew how to keep a man happy. As the door opened, Dean moved a little closer.

"Hey babe, you been for my breakfast..." Dean was saying, but broke off as Sam came through the door, and not the blonde.

"Since when did you call me babe?" Sam asked, watching Dean drag the sheet around his hips. Sam's muscles were feeling a little stiff, from having to sleep in the car all night, while Dean had been in their room, on a nice comfortable bed.

Sam had been a little surprised, when he'd returned to their room, last night, to find that Dean was already here. Dean had been so drunk, that Sam wasn't sure he'd find their motel let alone what room they were in.

"Hey Sam...where did the chick go?" Dean asked, when he turned around to face his brother.

"Chick! What chick?" Sam asked, feigning ignorance.

"The blonde chick I was with last night." Dean said. "Do you know where she went?"

Sam had to stop himself from smiling as mischief took over his thoughts. His body was aching from sleeping, cramped up in the back seat of their car all night. He looked at Dean, who was bleary eyed, and slightly hung over from all the drink he'd consumed, but at least he'd slept in a bed.

"Dean, you weren't with a blonde chick last night." Sam told him.

"Come on Sammy, you must have seen her. She was so high," Dean raised his hand to show how tall she was, "She had blonde hair, right down her back, and her tits," he cupped his hands towards his body, emphasising how big they were. "Come on, Sam, you must have seen her." Dean asked exasperated.

"Sure, I saw you with a blonde chick last night." Sam admitted.

"So where did she go?" Dean asked again, as Sam looked at him a little warily.

"Dean I hate to tell you this, but you didn't come back to the room with her."

"Of course I did. She gave me one of the best blow jobs I've ever had. And the sex, well, lets just say, it was inventive." Dean laughed at the memories.

"Dude, I'm telling you, if you had sex last night, it wasn't with her."

"Then who did I have sex with?" Dean asked, feeling very confused. He'd been so out of it, he wasn't sure what she looked like, hell, he didn't remember anything beyond, blonde hair, tits, and sex.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Sam asked cryptically.

"Sam, what are you hiding?"

"You came back to the room with a blonde, but it wasn't a chick." Sam said.

"Wasn't a chick, then what was it?" he wanted to know. "A witch? A demon? A succubus?" Dean asked, as Sam hesitated over telling him.

"It was a guy." Sam said.

"A WHAT!" Dean coughed out, almost choking.

"A guy, a man, a male." Sam said detailing each word.

"A guy?" Dean laughed at the absurdity of it. "Yeah right, pull the other one." Dean snorted as Sam looked at him with a straight face.

"It's true." Sam told him earnestly.

"I am not falling for one of your tricks again, in fact, I still owe you for the last one." Dean laughed, and stared at Sam.

Sam still had a straight face, and didn't waver as Dean watched him for any reaction.

"A guy, as if..." Dean smiled at the idea, then almost chocked, as the idea ran through his mind, he could feel his stomach churning.

"Yes, a guy." Sam confirmed.

"Come on Sam the games over, I called your bluff, now stop it."

"You don't believe me." Sam asked.

"Oh sure, I believe you." Dean told him, "And I believe in Father Christmas, and the Easter Bunny, and little green men."

"Hey if you don't believe me, go have a look outside. He just passed me as he came out." Sam had seen a long haired, blonde guy, leaving one of the rooms.

Dean gave Sam a look of dread as he thought about taking a look out of the door.

Dean ran to the door and looked outside, he spotted the long blonde hair and shouted something. The blonde turned around and Dean saw that it was a guy. He ran back in to the bathroom and threw up, his stomach wrenching till his muscles hurt.

In the bedroom, Sam was in hysterics, when Dean entered the room a few minutes later, he glared at him, this just made Sam laugh harder. He couldn't resist asking one more question before he told Dean the truth.

"Didn't you notice the extra equipment that 'she' had." Sam asked, referring to the guys erection.

Dean ran back in to the bathroom, his stomach clenched, but there wasn't anything left in it to throw up. He came back outside...

"I swear, Sammy. If you ever mention this incident to anyone, even to me, I will hunt you down, and I will kill you. I'll even salt your bones and burn them. You got that?" Dean threatened.

"Sure, but I think you should know..." Sam was going to tell him the truth.

"I don't want to hear it." Dean shouted, holding his hand up to stop Sam from speaking.

"You're sure, because..." Sam said, trying again, to tell Dean the truth.

"Not another word." Dean bit out, and pointed his finger at Sam.

"Alright, if you say so." Sam smiled.

----------

Sam was just loading their gear in to the car, when he spotted the blonde chick moving towards Dean. Sam, smiled, because he knew in a few minutes that Dean would be coming after him, threatening to kill him.

"Hey lover boy, did you miss me." the tall, blonde woman, with amazing tits, asked Dean. She leaned against him and stroked her hand across his chest.

"Miss you?" Dean asked, his eyes glued to the woman's cleavage.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten me already." she asked, pouting at him.

"No! How could I forget you." Dean asked, not remembering her at all.

"Yes that's exactly what you said last night, after I..." she didn't get to finish what she was saying, because Dean, butt in.

"Last night! You were here... in this room... last night." Dean asked.

The blonde pulled back and looked at Dean, she realised that he really didn't remember her. The slap across his face came out of nowhere, and Dean just stood there, stunned. Not by the slap, but by the fact that Sam, had done it again, he'd got one over on him, he'd convinced him he'd slept with a guy.

Dean turned to look at the car, and saw Sam sitting in the driver seat, laughing. When he heard the car starting, he started to run.

"Sammy, you son of a bitch. I swear, when I get my hands on you, I am going to kill you for this." Dean shouted as he ran after the car.

Sam drove off, and Dean could hear the laughter coming from the car.

----------

Dean handed the money over, to the very pretty, red headed, woman. He stood back and looked her up and down, admiring the feminine curves.

"So you know what to do?" Dean asked her.

"Of course sugar, you want me to call in to the bar and kiss the guy senseless." she told him, eyeing Dean up and down, she liked what what she saw.

Dean caught her eyeing him up and he felt his whole body shudder, he quickly turned and went back to the hotel.

----------

Later on Dean dragged Sam to the bar and bought him a few drinks.

"Sure you're feeling okay?" Sam asked him, as he took a drink of beer.

"I'm feeling just great." Dean told him, grinning from ear to ear.

"You haven't been smoking anything, have you?" Sam wasn't convinced, something was up, but he didn't know what.

"Sam for fucks sake just enjoy the night out, we don't get too many of these."

Sam dropped the subject and looked around the darkened room, there was a red headed woman across the way who was openly flirting with him, had been for the past ten minutes. Sam smiled back at her, and then watched as she came sauntering over to their table.

"Hi, sweety, I'm Angel, mind if I join you." she said, pulling the chair out and sitting in it before Sam could protest.

"The more the merrier." Dean said, smiling at her.

"You know you're one of the cutest guys in here tonight." she said to Sam.

Sam almost choked on the swig of beer he'd just taken, he laughed, and looked at Dean who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Why, thanks, Angel." Sam said, he jerked his leg, a little stunned when her hand squeezed his thigh, then she began stroking her hand up and down his thigh.

He looked at Dean and raised his eyebrows, Dean just gave him a thumbs up, and kept on smiling.

Sam excused himself to go and get another beer, leaving the red head sitting at the table with Dean. When he came back, he put three bottles on to the table, but before he could sit down. Angel stood up and pushed him backwards till his back met the edge of the bar. She gripped his shoulders and kissed him, Sam was a little bemused by her behaviour, but he let her continue with what she was doing.

Sam started returning her kisses, pulling her in to his arms as he deepened the kiss. Then he heard Dean talking, he stopped kissing Angel and looked at Dean.

"Hey, Sammy, she's a man." Dean told him, grinning broadly.

Sam laughed at Dean, he wasn't about to fall for Dean's little stunt.

"Well he's the best looking chick I've ever seen." Sam told him.

"Don't you believe me?" Dean asked, knowing that Sam thought he was joking.

"I really don't care." Sam said blasé.

"Well enjoy it while it lasts, because it cost me over a hundred bucks. But in my opinion it was money well spent." Dean stood up and moved back, he watched Sam lean in towards Angel and kiss her.

"I'm enjoying it tremendously." Sam said, in between kisses.

"Hey, Angel, show him your bits and pieces." Dean said to her.

"Do I have to?" Angel asked, she was really enjoying kissing Sam.

"Yes, now show him."

Sam pulled back and stared at Dean, who's permanent grin seemed to get even bigger. He turned back to look at Angel and watched as she unzipped the silk trousers she was wearing. She pulled them down fractionally and Sam blanched at the sight before him. He turned to glare at Dean, but he was no longer at their table he was now standing in the open doorway, giving Sam a big toothy grin.

"Way to go Sammy." Dean shouted, when Sam started moving towards him, he turned and ran out the door.

----------

Dean was driving the car down the highway, the skin around his eye, was already starting to darken, he pressed his finger against it and winced. He'd be sporting a black eye for sure. His lip was still smarting where the skin had split. He turned his head sideways to look at Sam, who also had a split lip, and there was a definite shadow around his jaw.

"How could you do it?" Sam asked out loud.

"Do what?" Dean asked, playing ignorant.

"Your own brother." Sam moaned.

Dean didn't answer him, he just concentrated on driving.

"At least I only pretended that you'd slept with a guy. You actually paid a guy to..." Sam didn't finish the sentence.

"Only pretended,... you convinced me that I'd slept with a guy." Dean shouted.

"But you didn't. Yet you actually got a guy to... k... how could you?" Sam moaned.

"Hey your 'pretend' is still in here." Dean told him, poking his finger against his head.

Sam threw him a disgusted look

"I have images in here, you wouldn't believe." Dean told him, looking to see if he was falling for it.

"What images, it never happened." Sam laughed at him.

"Maybe not, but you try telling that to my mind. Hell I need therapy for what you put me through, I just can't afford it." Dean said, trying to sound pathetic.

"Therapy! You! If you went for therapy, they'd lock you up and throw away the key." Sam snorted at him.

"Yeah, well your little stunt didn't help any." Dean said, exaggerating.

"A guy, you actually paid a guy to..." Sam glared at Dean.

Dean looked at him and smiled, he felt vindicated for what Sam had done to him.

"Wanna call it even?" Dean asked him.

"Even, you think my little stunt is even to yours?"

"Well I'd say my little stunt might equal the... TWO, of yours. I mean I still owed you for the one before."

"So what do you say, call it quits?" Dean tried again.

Sam glared at him, no way was he gonna call it quits, although he didn't say this to Dean.

"Sure, we'll call it quits." Sam said and smiled, thinking about what he could possible come up with to get Dean back.

Dean had a few ideas of his own, about how he could get Sam back...

THE END...

Thanks for reading.

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